I have a love/hate relationship with confession. Yes, that's right CONFESSION! There is something
about saying out loud your sins, mishaps, mistakes, and regrets it just stings.
I know there are many people in my life that don't understand the beauty of confession and I am not here to convince you here otherwise, but solely want to give you a viewpoint how it is to go to confession in the 21st century. Its not like the old black and white movies where you go to a dark box and you hear a scary voice of a man and he tells you "That's it? Are you sure?"
For myself, when I do something wrong, I am have guilt written all over my forehead. I dislike myself for saying/doing whatever mistake I just did. I dwell on it and after I while I feel the need to say it out loud and seek advice on whatever mistake I did. Let's play the game, would you rather seek advice to someone who also makes mistakes like you or would you rather seek advice to someone who is representative Christ? I am not saying seeking advice from friends is not good because I do it all the time, but sometimes you need to get down to business.
Reasons why I go:
1: Ever heard of humility?
I do this daily as I am far from getting a VIP pass to heaven, but I am trying my best. I am a complete wreck mentally, its not a joy ride, but I stress out about the mere thought of telling my sins out loud to God (the funny thing is He already knows them, so whats the big deal) It is a humbling experience each time. Saying my sins out loud is a wake up that I have some changing to do if I want to get back in the game.
2: White as snow
Remember when you were an child/adult and you were baptized in the white gown symbolizing purity. I heard once that when we sin, we dirty our white gown. Let's be honest by the time I get enough courage to go my gown has holes, dirt and stains. Going to confession you are able to bleach that gown of yours! The best part is, confession is there for you as often as you would like it thus you can get bleached as often a you! You will feel all so fresh and so clean.
3: You will lose ten pounds
Okay, not really, but a weight has been lifted off your shoulder, you can now smile with a true genuine smile. Your sins have been forgiven! Believe it or not, but when someone tells you "I forgive you," thats powerful stuff right there. A priest is not just there to listen and give penance, but to help us live a better and fuller life so seek that advice that you need.
So why confession, I want to get to heaven and I believe the best way to get there is to be the best person God created you to be; so why not enter with a humble heart, white as snow, and a few extra pounds off your shoulder.
(If you are still wondering why I believe in actually confession instead of just talking to God in prayer, ask and I will try to explain as best as I can)
Monday, March 31, 2014
Thursday, March 27, 2014
The Trophy
I have been part of this organization at work now for around a year and half. Its called Toastmasters (toastmasters.org) Its a group of individuals who come together to learn more abour themselves and build on their confident skills as leaders.
Here is my latest speech, enjoy!
Jacqueline "first place" Hernandez is not really my middle name, but let me tell you about a time when I felt like a million bucks.
I have been an active member of Toastmasters for around a year and half now and its common to receive emails or announcements about area or district contests in the area. My first thought every time is, "Are you kidding me, I am nervous enough at my own meetings, why would I torture myself and go somewhere and be judged by even more talented people."
I don't remember how or when but somehow I volunteered to participate in the area contest to compete in table topics. I figured all I had to do with limit my um and ah and speak from one to two minutes on a random topic they present, so how hard could that be.
Luckily, I received a friendly reminder the week of and my hurt heart sank to the floor while I read that email.
"What the heck, have I done to myself. Am I really doing this?" The contest was only 5 minutes from where I live and it started at 9:30 am so I could still sleep in a little.
The morning of, I kept telling trying to figure out excuses to bail, such as, it was the first Saturday all year where the high was going be in the 70s and the next day snow. There was no way, I was going to spend it indoors in a library listening to speeches.
Needless to say, I was there 9:30 am sharp and hoped I had remembered to put on some deodorant before I left the door. With the exception of 4 of us, the median age was around 55. I was completely out of comfort zone. People had name tags, binders, pads of paper and were ready to go.
I signed in, filled out the paperwork and quietly waited for instructions. I kept seeing everyone so relaxed and socializing with each other and knew today was going to be an experience.
Each speech was beautifully presented with perfect body movements, lack of notes, great eye contact. I knew when it was my turn to talk all eyes were going to be on me and didn't want that attention whatsoever.
It was 5 til 11 and the toastmaster announced there was a break. "What a break? I want this contest to be over. I will not be able to compete with these amazing individuals that I have just heard." I thought.
Table topics was the last portion of the contest so the anticipation was literally killing me and all I knew was keep your arms down because you will be sweating like a pig. I was feeling like the individuals in the 90s sure commercials "sure, sure, sure, unsure, unsure, unsure.
I had the privilege to begin the contest. The toastmaster said my name and I walked up and shock her hand and she said the magic words I had been waiting for all morning, "Jacqueline Hernandez, social media Jacqueline Hernandez"
I had it in the bag, what kind of 30 year old doesn't have an opinion on social media. I was confident and sure during that minutes and even spoke past the one minute mark.
That morning ladies and gentlemen I received my first trophy ever. First place my friends. I won't tell you how many people I was up against because that will spoil the story.
This trophy is a symbol of many firsts to come as Toastmaster has truly enabled me to have the confidence I had buried inside of myself.
I am not perfect my any means nor does this mean I will join each contest that occurs in our area and district, but I am grateful for the experience that Toastmaster provided me that morning and I am a proud member of this organization.
Here is my latest speech, enjoy!
Jacqueline "first place" Hernandez is not really my middle name, but let me tell you about a time when I felt like a million bucks.
I have been an active member of Toastmasters for around a year and half now and its common to receive emails or announcements about area or district contests in the area. My first thought every time is, "Are you kidding me, I am nervous enough at my own meetings, why would I torture myself and go somewhere and be judged by even more talented people."
I don't remember how or when but somehow I volunteered to participate in the area contest to compete in table topics. I figured all I had to do with limit my um and ah and speak from one to two minutes on a random topic they present, so how hard could that be.
Luckily, I received a friendly reminder the week of and my hurt heart sank to the floor while I read that email.
"What the heck, have I done to myself. Am I really doing this?" The contest was only 5 minutes from where I live and it started at 9:30 am so I could still sleep in a little.
The morning of, I kept telling trying to figure out excuses to bail, such as, it was the first Saturday all year where the high was going be in the 70s and the next day snow. There was no way, I was going to spend it indoors in a library listening to speeches.
Needless to say, I was there 9:30 am sharp and hoped I had remembered to put on some deodorant before I left the door. With the exception of 4 of us, the median age was around 55. I was completely out of comfort zone. People had name tags, binders, pads of paper and were ready to go.
I signed in, filled out the paperwork and quietly waited for instructions. I kept seeing everyone so relaxed and socializing with each other and knew today was going to be an experience.
Each speech was beautifully presented with perfect body movements, lack of notes, great eye contact. I knew when it was my turn to talk all eyes were going to be on me and didn't want that attention whatsoever.
It was 5 til 11 and the toastmaster announced there was a break. "What a break? I want this contest to be over. I will not be able to compete with these amazing individuals that I have just heard." I thought.
Table topics was the last portion of the contest so the anticipation was literally killing me and all I knew was keep your arms down because you will be sweating like a pig. I was feeling like the individuals in the 90s sure commercials "sure, sure, sure, unsure, unsure, unsure.
I had the privilege to begin the contest. The toastmaster said my name and I walked up and shock her hand and she said the magic words I had been waiting for all morning, "Jacqueline Hernandez, social media Jacqueline Hernandez"
I had it in the bag, what kind of 30 year old doesn't have an opinion on social media. I was confident and sure during that minutes and even spoke past the one minute mark.
That morning ladies and gentlemen I received my first trophy ever. First place my friends. I won't tell you how many people I was up against because that will spoil the story.
This trophy is a symbol of many firsts to come as Toastmaster has truly enabled me to have the confidence I had buried inside of myself.
I am not perfect my any means nor does this mean I will join each contest that occurs in our area and district, but I am grateful for the experience that Toastmaster provided me that morning and I am a proud member of this organization.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
What are you running from?
It has been many years since I wrote down my thoughts on a blog, but here goes....
I recently started training myself to run and there is a reason for this but that is for another post. While running, it has come to my attention that what I have been truly running from in my life the last few years is myself.
There comes a point in your life where you have to start taking care of yourself and for me that came recently when I realized I was turning 30. I have focused majority of my 20s on others and their well being, pleasing others, and I have not focused on what I am supposed to with my life.
Today, I ran the most I have ever ran without stopping in 2 years, it was only a mile, but this mile was a milestone. I felt the wind around me, the sun shining, and a path that seemed endless. I conquered something that I never thought I could do. What kept me going was, "Jacqueline, you can do this!" So I ran until the app I was using said I could walk again.
This evening, I ran into a friend that lately when we do see each other gives me a hard time on why we haven't hung out. I went up to her twice and was getting a cold vibe from her when finally I stopped her to catch up. However when catching up, within 5 minutes, she had made comments, such as "I am glad you are actually alive." "So your job has supposedly kept you busy." "So baseball season is coming up so I am gonna probably gonna even see less of you." A few eye rolls later on her end, and I spoke up. I was straight and told her I don't appreciate being talked to like that when friendships takes two people.
Tonight, longer story short, I gave a guy my number. Crazy, I know?!?! There's always a first in life.
Why, you ask am I telling you all this? The old Jacqueline would have given up and never kept on running. The old Jacqueline would have ever stood up for herself. The old Jacqueline would have left the night thinking, man I wonder what would have happened if I gave that guy my number.
Stop running from the fear of striking out. If all you do is stand at the plate and you never swing because you are too nervous, you will just strike out and never have the opportunity to hit a home run.
I am not saying my actions today were perfect, but tonight I can go to bed knowing I have no regrets and I am proud of that.
Run as fast as you can and make sure you ask the Lord for the strength to keep on running. I still don't have all the answers and still don't know what I am doing with my life, but I do know is with HIM all things are possible.
I recently started training myself to run and there is a reason for this but that is for another post. While running, it has come to my attention that what I have been truly running from in my life the last few years is myself.
There comes a point in your life where you have to start taking care of yourself and for me that came recently when I realized I was turning 30. I have focused majority of my 20s on others and their well being, pleasing others, and I have not focused on what I am supposed to with my life.
Today, I ran the most I have ever ran without stopping in 2 years, it was only a mile, but this mile was a milestone. I felt the wind around me, the sun shining, and a path that seemed endless. I conquered something that I never thought I could do. What kept me going was, "Jacqueline, you can do this!" So I ran until the app I was using said I could walk again.
This evening, I ran into a friend that lately when we do see each other gives me a hard time on why we haven't hung out. I went up to her twice and was getting a cold vibe from her when finally I stopped her to catch up. However when catching up, within 5 minutes, she had made comments, such as "I am glad you are actually alive." "So your job has supposedly kept you busy." "So baseball season is coming up so I am gonna probably gonna even see less of you." A few eye rolls later on her end, and I spoke up. I was straight and told her I don't appreciate being talked to like that when friendships takes two people.
Tonight, longer story short, I gave a guy my number. Crazy, I know?!?! There's always a first in life.
Why, you ask am I telling you all this? The old Jacqueline would have given up and never kept on running. The old Jacqueline would have ever stood up for herself. The old Jacqueline would have left the night thinking, man I wonder what would have happened if I gave that guy my number.
Stop running from the fear of striking out. If all you do is stand at the plate and you never swing because you are too nervous, you will just strike out and never have the opportunity to hit a home run.
I am not saying my actions today were perfect, but tonight I can go to bed knowing I have no regrets and I am proud of that.
Run as fast as you can and make sure you ask the Lord for the strength to keep on running. I still don't have all the answers and still don't know what I am doing with my life, but I do know is with HIM all things are possible.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)