The two most powerful words.

I have been very fortunate in my lifetime that I have had several people that I can look up to different ways, either physically, mentally and/or spiritually.

Recently, I met a new person to add to my list. I never thought she would challenge me as much as she has. I thought I had my life all together. I have a good job, my health, loving family, and clearly the unconditional love of my dog so what more did I need in life.  The more and more I talked to her, the more I realized I have no clue what I am doing with my life. I was basically living in a state of content and comfort.

 I was going through the motions of life. The zeal and excitement I once had somehow disappeared.

Together we discovered my biggest weakness is my confidence. I had not realized that I had spent so many years serving others and pleasing others needs that I had neglected my own. I had failed to build myself up. It has always been natural for me to be personable and approachable so naturally others sought me out when they needed something from me and I did because I like pleasing people. That caused me to neglect myself.

The fear of failing had made me lack my confidence.

It all started when I told her the story of how I entered a 5k many years ago. The last half mile, I was followed by an police escort as they were clearing the road again for traffic because I was last. Yeah,  I am pretty sure I could have died of humility that morning. I realized since that event I hadn't really wanted to begin new adventures in life because I was afraid of feeling that same sense of failure. I didn't want to push or challenge myself because I was afraid of coming in last again.

I am still not sure how she did it, but now I don't want to fail her because she has truly helped me be a better me. I have never felt more confident of who I am and what I am capable of.  Don't get me wrong, it is still a work in progress and I still don't know what I am doing with my life, but I loving every minute trying to figure it out. Living in comfort was just plain boring.

I would have never imagined putting myself out there and going on so many first dates in the last year. None of them have ended up with a ring on the finger but each one thought me more who I am and what I wanted in life.

I would have never imagined have imagined that last week I ran a 5k in 36 minutes which is huge for me. I thought I was going to throw up afterwards but that is beside the point. 

I would have never imagined the inner strength that I have inside of me. I have caught myself speaking up without hesitantion, standing up for what I believe in, challenging others and even mentoring again.

The beauty of it all, having gone through that slump helped me recognize how powerful the little things in life are that so many of us take for granted.

With confidence I can say I am a better person because I know she will always be on the sidelines cheering me on.  Today I say, "Thank you" to one of my newest fans. When was the last time you sincerely said "Thank you" to someone help you be a better you.

How to lose a girl on date one.

I have to admit, it has been an interesting run the last year when it comes with first dates. The excitement of meeting someone new, wondering if they are going to be the one and figuring that perfect outfit that will make you feel confident has been a theme lately.

Unfortunately none of them have stuck around to call them relationships, but each one has taught me something and would like to share them along. 

1) Women don't like to feel like a therapist. If you are meeting someone for the first time, its good to not lay it all out there in the open on date number one. Somethings are best to kept a secret for a while. Bringing baggage on date number one is not always a great idea. We don't need to hear about all your sob stories in an hour or two. No one likes to feel like they need a drink just to relax. 

2) Don't friend zone it. If you are interested in a woman make your time with her intentional. Eventually we will lose interest and start seeing you as a friend and get super frustrated that nothing happened and second guess everything you do. If you like a woman, let her know. Don't hang out with her, but date her. Go on dates! If you don't the relationship will get so confusing that eventually nothing will happen since intentions were never direct.

3) Don't quote chick flicks. Even if your favorite movie is Pitch Perfect and you love Glee, girls want a man. They want a man who is not afraid to get his hands dirty and know a thing or two about mechanics or lawn care. Even though we live in an era where women want to feel equal to men, woman deep down want a man to treat them like a Princess/Queen. Open the doors, give us compliments, and don't have your friend set up the date, be a man and call the girl and set up the date. We want man to step up and be pursued.

4) 46 minutes late really? I still wonder sometimes how I stayed that long waiting for the guy. I remember sitting at the bar, lost all my lives on candy crush and texted a few friends and still a no show. I must have been really hungry. If you are going be late, make sure the first thing you say is not "Did you get us a table?" Apologize and you better have a good reason to be 46 minutes late on a first date. Be on time, shoot even get there early. Pull out the chair, order a drink if you know the girl's drink of choice. This goes on a long way and shows you were anticipating this date.

5) "So how as your week?" I ask. He responds with "Oh man, on Tuesday it was so cold that my breathalyzer would not start my car." Ummm so yes, that is a red flag and if you want a woman to turn around and lose interest that is a great phrase, but if not please have a good story about how it was a wake up call and how you are trying to be a better man not that "It's kind of sad I got my license back and have it in my car, it was kind of nice just drinking and making people drive for me." Yeah that happened. 

6) So how many men have you been with? Yes, I was asked that on date number two.  I knew what he was looking for and he wasn't going to get anything from me with that direct of a question. Plus his response to my answer was not very gentleman like. If you want to date a lady then be a gentleman.

7) If you are not interested just tell us. One of my biggest pet peeves is when they stop calling. Did I say or do something wrong? Why hasn't he contacted me? We are big girls and can put on our big girl pants, so just tell us.

8) Don't ever make a woman hangry. If you tell a woman, they are going out to eat, guess what that woman went through at least 5 outfits to find the perfect one and planned out what they were going to eat and has been hungry to eat that meal for a few hours so don't make her hangry by not showing up or canceling. Never mess with a woman and her food.

These are just a few real life examples I have gone through lately. So if you want to lose a girl on date one, follow these simple rules.

Who Saved Who?

This little baby saved my life. 

When I first this Rat Terrier, I was in a phase in my life where all my friends were either married or in a serious relationship.  Goodness, many of them already had one child. I was working 50 hours a week which caused me to gain weight.  I was unhappy and considering to quit my job and stay with the parents til I found a new one. 

Until one special day on June 27th 2010. 

I was out shopping with my dad doing errands.  I have always been a daddy’s girl.  (Which is why I think I am single because I have always tried to find a man like my father, but that is a another topic in itself.)

We went to Petsmart because like father like daughter he owns a fish tank and so do I. We needed filters, so we can replace the old dirty olds and the pumps can do their thing and clean the water.  It just happened to be an adoption day at Petsmart. 

For those that have never walked into a Petsmart in the summer on a Sunday or Saturday this is quite common, but I like to set the stage and make this special day even more meaningful.

 I have always wanted a dog, but I knew having a dog came great responsibility.  I figured, I am 26 now I can take care of a dog. 

Growing up, I saw a movies and tv shows where Lassie always saved the day. Or Free Willy and Flipper gave companionship to a human.  Come on, everything you see is on tv is right so of course my life would be complete if only I had a pet. 

I walked over to the center of the store and looked around and suddenly made eye contact with the cutest little dog you will ever.  She was giving me a look that only a dog in need does. She was calling me to take her home with me.  I said, “That’s the one.”  Look at her! My dad must have had the same feeling because he said lets talk to your mother. 

I knew working 50 hour week, I would need my parent’s full commitment as well because I could not care of a dog on my own.  

We convinced my mom to come to Petsmart to see the pretty little doggie.  She walked into the store very hesitant and walked straight into that cage.  My mother’s eyes truly did start to tear up.  I had not even pointed out which dog I wanted to adopt. 

Needless to say, 300 dollars later I had a dog in the car, cage in the other and a bag full of food, treats, collar and leash.  I was ready to go.  

I would not recommend a dog for everyone that is feeling lonely or need some sort of meaning in my life.  I mean my friends are now all married and now on baby number two. I cannot remember the last time I have slept in because she wakes me up every morning to take her out.  In the initial cost of 300 seems like a piece of cake considering how much vets fees and dog food costs.  

However, I love the feeling knowing when I come home my little baby runs down the stairs and wags her little tail waiting to see me.  I love the feeling that when she is scared or nervous she runs to me for protection. I love seeing her front paws up in the air wanting me carry her and put her on my lap. I love the feeling when she falls asleep on me while laying on the couch. 

Yes, I saved her and adopted her, but let’s be honest she saved me and has taught me what unconditional love could look like.