What are you running from?

It has been many years since I wrote down my thoughts on a blog, but here goes....

I recently started training myself to run and there is a reason for this but that is for another post. While running, it has come to my attention that what I have been truly running from in my life the last few years is myself.

There comes a point in your life where you have to start taking care of yourself and for me that came recently when I realized I was turning 30. I have focused majority of my 20s on others and their well being, pleasing others, and I have not focused on what I am supposed to with my life.

Today, I ran the most I have ever ran without stopping in 2 years, it was only a mile, but this mile was a milestone.  I felt the wind around me, the sun shining, and a path that seemed endless. I conquered something that I never thought I could do. What kept me going was, "Jacqueline, you can do this!" So  I ran until the app I was using said I could walk again.

This evening, I ran into a friend that lately when we do see each other gives me a hard time on why we haven't hung out.  I went up to her twice and was getting a cold vibe from her when finally I stopped her to catch up.  However when catching up, within 5 minutes, she had made comments, such as "I am glad you are actually alive." "So your job has supposedly kept you busy." "So baseball season is coming up so I am gonna probably gonna even see less of you." A few eye rolls later on her end, and I spoke up. I was straight and told her I don't appreciate being talked to like that when friendships takes two people.

Tonight, longer story short, I gave a guy my number. Crazy, I know?!?! There's always a first in life.

Why, you ask am I telling you all this? The old Jacqueline would have given up and never kept on running. The old Jacqueline would have ever stood up for herself. The old Jacqueline would have left the night thinking, man I wonder what would have happened if I gave that guy my number.

Stop running from the fear of striking out. If all you do is stand at the plate and you never swing because you are too nervous, you will just strike out and never have the opportunity to hit a home run.

I am not saying my actions today were perfect, but tonight I can go to bed knowing I have no regrets and I am proud of that.

Run as fast as you can and make sure you ask the Lord for the strength to keep on running.  I still don't have all the answers and still don't know what I am doing with my life, but I do know is with HIM all things are possible.